Friday, January 19, 2007

[current mood fully cherished, full of life, overwhelmed and what not! ]
[listening to far away-nickelback]

adrenalined -

what do you say to a person who.. once, you would have given up your life for but now you detest to the depth and fiber of your very being? - the luv is still there but so is loathing, the jealousy and the pain. he's leaving this morning and i dont know if i should say "farewell. we may still meet in the future. (inshaAllah)" or "good riddance!" ............... :)

sometimes i ask myself is it a sane move to push away the one you luv? only if the one you luv already has become someone else. sigh .. i have trying to bury the thoughts of him, push the memories down to the pits of my acidic stomach, hoping it would die there. but everytime i see him, see his pictures, everytime i talk to him, the damned thing i buried pops up again. i hate him. yes i still luv him!


pata nahe ab phir kub ..... well..
may your mind to be at peace.
may your heart to be full of luv,

and knowin that life is a highway with no signs pointing where to go, and that at every turn there is an exit, may you find not what you want but what you need. and may you always smile, not because it is polite to do so, but because deep inside, you know you are sincerely at peace.

i luv you..
n i will always do.
crazily, immensely, deeply, insanely, passionately.
_if i will always do.


*hugs*



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
[the post is dedicated to jan 19th 07,
2:something pm -to 17 minutes and 41 seconds]

0 lend me some sugar.

 
written by jia.

  ..so lately i have been in this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .

tell me you luv me..

Terror Alert Level -

Terror Alert Level

dynasty -

One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told

mantra -
 

- Lately...

 When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...

But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....

That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

-by Azure Ray

 

ode to meaning..

_________________

One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.

calm before the storm

_________________

Numb by Linkin Park

And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.

moon phase
 

calculated distractions

broken promises ..

said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya....  "  

~*~  current mood ...

                 

coffee files...

'someone once said...

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