Wednesday, June 20, 2007

[listening to meri jaan (inside outside -josh]
[curremt mood okie dokie-active]

and my heart skipped few more beats
yesterday was a yay day. one of those days full of wonderful, memorable moments. and yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay for having the feeling that you're someone's a favouritest person in whom he can trust muchly and luv muchly and rely upon to be!there!for!him! :)

but the sadest part of the day was, when in a part of my phone call, there were lies in my truth. i just didn't like the idea of speaking someone for the very first time in your life n feeding her with a plate of dried lies . felt myself a bit uneasy, third class and completely drained "(N)" , because for a girl like me truth is everything. lie doesnt stand that long, n when it breaks n.... c'mon you know how you feels then. khair it was a part of it all, i didn't do that unintentionally nor i wasn't even intended to, but.. i was bound to keep my promise. i think it isn't such a big deal yea when you asked yourself to sacrifice for someone who means alot to you. its just i was quite concerned, i still am. anyhow .... hmm but yea i kinda wanna talk to you about it (i dunno if i would). so much for being practical hun. salt.

-
a note to myself:
and happiness really starts and ends with yourself. you can make it good for you, you know? yea i know jia..

umm..have to take a hike now. i'll smear more of MY EULOGY later.. cause in the end of the day..it's nothing much; but hey- it's everything to me!


tick tock. time to be in the kitchen, cook fast. take a bath, get properly dressed and wait for my bhai to come back home. rest will follow. see you yellowlane. :)

17:34

0 lend me some sugar.

 
written by jia.

  ..so lately i have been in this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .

tell me you luv me..

Terror Alert Level -

Terror Alert Level

dynasty -

One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told

mantra -
 

- Lately...

 When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...

But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....

That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

-by Azure Ray

 

ode to meaning..

_________________

One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.

calm before the storm

_________________

Numb by Linkin Park

And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.

moon phase
 

calculated distractions

broken promises ..

said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya....  "  

~*~  current mood ...

                 

coffee files...

'someone once said...

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