Monday, October 08, 2007

i was in
luv
with the world
inside
your
belly-
button

[in the memory of the age, The childhood when i got my first attack of Poliomyelitis :)]

n then...i have become ...
i wish i didn't wish for so much.
i wish my wishes really came true.
...i wish my shade didn't get stuck in her womb.
i wish i didn't feel so ugly lately.

i wish you could come, live with me.
i wish i knew what i really wanted right now.

i wish i could play piano.
i wish i could dance.. in rain.
i wish i was something!
i wish, for some ppl .. i was a fortune teller machine, so people would pay me attention, and for two bits, i could make them smile, laugh, or maybe even change their lives ..

i wish people didn't make friendship such a complicated thing.
i wish it was january again..
i wish seeing you everyday wasn't what made me happy.
i wish you never lied.

i wish i could tell him how she luves him more than he luved her.
i wish that you hadn't told me that you cried when you couldn't talk to me
i wish i knew if what you were telling me were lies or the truth ....

i wish men weren't forced to be emotionless and "strong."
i wish i knew what he wants.


AND ...
i wish you'd break my heart to my face
and i wish you'd watch my cry
and see my heart break
and my words struggle to compare to how i feel.

i wish i could keep feeling good.
wish i didn't always want the things i can't have.
wish i could fly somewhere fcuking far away..
wish i had the energy to write about all the things i wish for. and i wish i wasn't ashamed of some of those things.

i wish for us.

____
all what you seemed to want was that i keep touching you with poetry. i just wanted some honest, delicious potato chips.

0 lend me some sugar.

 
written by jia.

  ..so lately i have been in this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .

tell me you luv me..

Terror Alert Level -

Terror Alert Level

dynasty -

One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told

mantra -
 

- Lately...

 When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...

But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....

That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

-by Azure Ray

 

ode to meaning..

_________________

One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.

calm before the storm

_________________

Numb by Linkin Park

And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.

moon phase
 

calculated distractions

broken promises ..

said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya....  "  

~*~  current mood ...

                 

coffee files...

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