Tuesday, October 02, 2007

_________
I’m still doing you favors

I still am.
You just don’t notice.

Your demons have been visiting for years
They say: “We want tea!”
They don’t really want tea.

Once, you said something about eating my heart.
Then again, you were thirteen. People say stuff like that, when they’re thirteen
They want to be vampires or something.
You’re not a vampire though.

But I have been giving your demons tea.
All the vampires and werewolves you send here, they drink all my tea.
I guess it’s okay, because I don’t like tea, but still.
It’s not very polite of you.
You ought to think about how your demons act as guests.

Plus, the tea doesn’t really make them happy, I mean, it’s just tea after all.
Boiling water and weird grasses and leaves in a bag with a string
and you’re still sending them here and telling them that they want tea.
I’m telling you. They don’t want tea.
And I know that’s a hard thing to deal with,
I know you can’t satiate them with your own…tea.

But honestly, why me?
What ever made you think that I was a demon wrangler, a lassoer of creepy things?
I am not so good with them, I mean
They don’t like me, I mean that
Tea is not enough and sometimes they bite
and it hurts
and I don’t want to catch what you have, I do not like the proximity to

all this sickness
in my house
on my chairs
all these blue winged fang bearing things
and you said I was unwelcome, you said
you said you’d mind.
if I came to your doorstep
and knocked.

If I could write you, I would write you in run-on sentences
I would let your demons take charge,
I would let you see what fearsome beasties they are.
And I would not care if you cried out
I would not let you speak,
I would not, I would…
let you laugh like you always do
I would start to say something stupid, something silly, “I lo….”
No, I won’t say that, you know.

I can’t write you
can’t sing you
can’t praise Jesus in your name
can’t hate you and
can’t love you and
even sometimes, I can’t see you
But I can do one thing and your demons will help
I can deny you my tea.
And I will say, innocently,
“Oh, I am sorry. The demons, they…they drank all the tea.”


- anonymous
[dedicated]

0 lend me some sugar.

 
written by jia.

  ..so lately i have been in this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .

tell me you luv me..

Terror Alert Level -

Terror Alert Level

dynasty -

One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told

mantra -
 

- Lately...

 When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...

But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....

That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

-by Azure Ray

 

ode to meaning..

_________________

One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.

calm before the storm

_________________

Numb by Linkin Park

And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.

moon phase
 

calculated distractions

broken promises ..

said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya....  "  

~*~  current mood ...

                 

coffee files...

'someone once said...

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MYSTERY CARROT AWARD
MYSTERY CARROT AWARD
for website adequacy

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