Tuesday, October 30, 2007

[listening to but it rainded -parikrama]

It's so hard to just always mean best.
aaj kul rooz sounay se pehlay hazaar thoughts demagh mein aa ker ekhat'ti ho rahi hain.. abhi bhi bed se uth ker yahan aa gyee.. pata nahe kya bay'sakooni hai ... poora din bhaagtay bhaagtay guzer jata hai, kabhi kisi cheez kay peechay tou kabhi kisi cheez kay peechay ..her waqt time dekhtay raho as if kay kahin late na ho jao.. subah ho tou raat kareeb aanay se pehlay hazaar sub karo aur jub raat aa jai tou ujala bhi pal bhar mein aa jata hai phir se. insaan kub souye kub jaagay? ... koi ek lumha aisa jub yeh saari dunya ki uljhan ek taraf ho jain? .. koi ek aisa pal ... saray din mein ..

hamster ka kiya demagh se jaa nahe raha.. hazaar sub ker liya hazar sub souch liya par ..... pata nahe zindagi mein kitnay loug aatay hain aur kitni hee bar insaan ko yeh ehsaas khaye jata hai kay koi aap ko dhoka day ker chala gaya. eitherway, waisay bhi kisi relation mein ek waqt mein ek hee insaan dosray ko tang ker sukta haina. yeh alug baat hai kay mei akser lougon ko mouqa diya kerti thi.

ek kay baad ek.. ek kay baad ek... kabhi dosti mein tou kabhi kuch aur nibhatay huay,, loug jhoot kyun bola kertay hain? .. mein tang honay lagi hon subse. sub apnay mutlab se miltay hain ek dosray se. shayad meinay bhi sub ko seh seh ker yehi sub apna liya hai ab tou.. itnay saray jhoot se yeh sari dunya rukk kyun nahe jati hai? lougon ki fitrat badalti kyun nahe hai kabhi? .. koi apnay aap ka hisaar kyun nahe torr pata hai kabhi? ...




just don't want to feel this way anymore.

i'd be happy to forget i even tried.
just tell me to go away.
I'll leave.

0 lend me some sugar.

 
written by jia.

  ..so lately i have been in this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .

tell me you luv me..

Terror Alert Level -

Terror Alert Level

dynasty -

One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told

mantra -
 

- Lately...

 When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...

But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....

That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

-by Azure Ray

 

ode to meaning..

_________________

One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.

calm before the storm

_________________

Numb by Linkin Park

And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.

moon phase
 

calculated distractions

broken promises ..

said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya....  "  

~*~  current mood ...

                 

coffee files...

'someone once said...

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