Saturday, January 12, 2008

Ntozake Shange/For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf

Without any assistance or guidance from you, I have loved you assiduously for
8 months, 2 weeks, and a day. I have been stood up four times. I've left seven
packages on your doorstep, forty poems, 2 plants and 3 handmade notecards. I
left town so I could send to you. You have been no help to me on my job. You
call at 3:00 in the morning on weekdays so I could drive across the bay before I
go to work.

charmin.

charmin.

but you are of no assistance. I want you to know this was an experiment. To see
how selfish I could be. If I would really carry on to share a possible lover. If
I was capable of debasin myself for the love of another. If I could stand not
being wanted when I wanted to be wanted.

And I cannot.

So

with no further assistance and no guidance from you
I am ending this affair."

Labels: Excerpts.

0 lend me some sugar.

 

written by jia.

  ..so lately i have been in this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .

tell me you luv me..

Terror Alert Level -

dynasty -

One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told

mantra -

 

- Lately...

 When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...

But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....

That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

-by Azure Ray

 

ode to meaning..

_________________

One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.

calm before the storm

_________________

Numb by Linkin Park

And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.

moon phase

calculated distractions

• aZ!
• max
• Aks
• Atif
• Ines
• just iffi
• jaali jojo

broken promises ..

said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya....  "  

~*~  current mood ...

                 

coffee files...

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