Saturday, September 27, 2008

[i stray -sleep deprived ]
[i sway - naam adaa likhna - OST: yahan]

This isn't my return ...
it's just to say i miss you .. yellowlane.

if i asked, would you start a revival for me?
i have a story i want to tell you.
_
sometimes i feel like we're a secret.

my syllabus looks very daunting to me. seems im still not really ready for the academic part of my life. haha. no seriously studying deliriously seven days a week has finally slowed down .. it's like my body's saying to me "for God's sake woman - STOP!" . thanks to these EID holidays. though i still have alot of study to do, an.. nah, 2 assignments due?


in other part of the cycle, it all happened so fast so now all that's left is for me to lie in a pool of regret, wishing i did this and not that. how ridiculous is that? sometimes i realise that im not at all in control of my life. people who i always expected to be there, i slowly realise will not always be there.
(ever so slowly). and so much of me just wants to say, 'not yet, we've only just begun'. i want to know you, and im tired of realising that i don't. if only i could learn this. because i still really want to know you.



i wish some things were less hard.
oh well lets hope for good, as i still have a hope in my heart. there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel, hope for the betterment.


P.s. i dont know just what else to say right now. there's so much i could say, and i feel like this entry is just brushing the surface. but im so sleepy and i think i should be off to bed now. i like to disappear, but it's not good to disappear completely. i know.
good night yellowlane. ( :


_
neurotica
4:37 am

0 lend me some sugar.

 
written by jia.

  ..so lately i have been in this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .

tell me you luv me..

Terror Alert Level -

Terror Alert Level

dynasty -

One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told

mantra -
 

- Lately...

 When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...

But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....

That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

-by Azure Ray

 

ode to meaning..

_________________

One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.

calm before the storm

_________________

Numb by Linkin Park

And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.

moon phase
 

calculated distractions

broken promises ..

said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya....  "  

~*~  current mood ...

                 

coffee files...

'someone once said...

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