Tuesday, August 15, 2006

[current mood don't ask me, or i'll bite you ' KHA JAON?]
[listen to my all -mariah carey]


Redeemer -

with alot of (good) cooking sessions, a luvly weather, a truckload of my type's music, whole lotta luv, 9 new gul ahmed's kurti'es in my wardrobe, a handful of new earing pairs, my favourite lip-liners n pencils, a complete new range of bracelets, (wish i could take pictures only if my digicam stop doing Pangay with me :#) n a good amount of paisay in my pant's pocket. [mashAllah bolo :P )) ...and above all A Mind that has not even a single downbeat thought. feeling completely overwhelmed with my satisfaction towards life. paddling my own canoe. im content.

in other news i am learnng some huge lessons in trusting God in situations where things that you thought you could control and win over tower over your head with how much bigger they are than my abilities... praying.

more to add on, i keep having dreams and nightmares that blend my dreams into reality and i cannot tell what is real when i wake up with my heart pounding to its maximum MHz.. feeling like i never slept at all...

and this month i have realized how much i don't like being alone.
i also have stopped missing my gumshuda best buddy (aZ!) anymore. that is also supposed to be a plus point for my smiling, tingling face. the shine is back.


jia,
17:24

16 lend me some sugar.

 
written by jia.

  ..so lately i have been in this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .

tell me you luv me..

Terror Alert Level -

Terror Alert Level

dynasty -

One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told

mantra -
 

- Lately...

 When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...

But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....

That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

-by Azure Ray

 

ode to meaning..

_________________

One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.

calm before the storm

_________________

Numb by Linkin Park

And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.

moon phase
 

calculated distractions

broken promises ..

said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya....  "  

~*~  current mood ...

                 

coffee files...

'someone once said...

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