| Wednesday, August 08, 2007 |
its easy to say you know its important to learn to luv yourself before anyone else can. but much easier said than accomplished. each day becomes easier and easier to define myself by my own terms. n as much as i know for a fact that i want to stand on my own for now, and preach to every single person i get close to that i want to be alone!
.. the mind and heart are a funny team. never matching up n always leaving it to you to determine who to listen and who to ignore. i feel like i spend too much time trying to make life easy by trying my best to avoid the mind games.
i wake up every morning wishing to be luved. i want to luv the people i luv without reason, i want to live with no expectations for the same in return. friendships are easily ruined at times, because one person believe in one more than the other. but who said emotions have to be returned? if i luv myself then thats all that matters.
"the only things you learn are the things you tame" but to many people try to control the things they tame. so wheres the balance between standing firm on your own but still leting people in without getting caught?"
i luved them so easy and i luved them so free, so i don't think that heaven will want to luv me.
Poor thing -
I WANT A PHOENIX!!
Ps. n yea, sorrie if i scared you. i just really wanted to do that. hehehe :)
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..so lately i have been in
this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an
understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and
melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im
too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining
about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn
blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .
Terror Alert Level -
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dynasty - |
One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four
crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a
secret
Never to be told
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mantra - |
- Lately...
When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...
But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.
Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....
That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.
-by Azure Ray
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ode to meaning.. |
_________________
One Tree Hill - New
Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.
_________________
Numb by Linkin Park
And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.
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moon phase |
| calculated distractions |
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broken promises .. |
said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya.... "
~*~ current mood ...
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coffee files... |