Monday, December 03, 2007

well now,



i suppose silence works best.



i'll just hide here in this little corner.



n look.



n you won't even know im here.




-
For aren't you and i gods?...
i sense in my blood the rotation of unexplorable universes. ...

im mildly emo, n i wish night to come soon. i don't know why.

winter makes me sad n cold (which i dislike). my skin dries out. nails become thick n my cheeks... :/ i wish december n january 25th would end soon. i have been interacting with new n random people lately, which i never appreciated in my life. ah, these artificial lines n trying speaking a good english, making your urdu stances appropriate for strangers..sucks. i hate artificialize myself.

one day i want to wake up with a husband n two baby boys. a ghar n a handsome dog barking outside the door.. zor zor se wali chirping of the finches n a pair of beeeautiful crows sitting on my bedrooms balcony. n ofcourse a perfect body. i think most of my mental ailment starts from here..the feeling of being different from the majority of the world is like...it shreds the little me. almost everyday. most of my study plans fails just because of that. n i hate thinking of myself being so illiterate when i always wanted to soar so high high high.. curse it la . ...but life still is not that bad yar. i should smile more. becasue i have dreams. because i still dreams beautiful. becasue i still wish to mend this very small part of my life. i never asked Allah to change the entire scenery or to change me into someone else. chaliye Allah mia You change my spine n i'll bring rest of the happiness n success myself. i, atleast, want to give it a try.

everything is flying. everything is screaming, choking on its screams. laughter. running. let down hair. that is all there is to life.`


_
Per kya sub kuch kabhi budlay ga bhi? ... :)

_
guzree mud'daton ka sawal
na mayra tarz-e-bay'kamal
na tayra tarz-e-ba'kamal
raha main bun kay khud ik sawal

[the above stanza is stolen from Mir's tranquil-nights`]



[jia sway mei agar kahon -sonu nigam (OST: om shanti om)]
[jia stray .. mundane]

17:12

0 lend me some sugar.

 

written by jia.

  ..so lately i have been in this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .

tell me you luv me..

Terror Alert Level -

dynasty -

One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told

mantra -

 

- Lately...

 When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...

But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....

That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

-by Azure Ray

 

ode to meaning..

_________________

One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.

calm before the storm

_________________

Numb by Linkin Park

And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.

moon phase

calculated distractions

• aZ!
• max
• Aks
• Atif
• Ines
• just iffi
• jaali jojo

broken promises ..

said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya....  "  

~*~  current mood ...

                 

coffee files...

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MYSTERY CARROT AWARD
for website adequacy