Saturday, April 28, 2007

Good Evening Yellowlane,

had a really deep sleep last night, n that was supposed to be a treat for sure. woke up calm (awes to hamster), and a bit early than my usual. had to go to maria's but want to stay back at home. the rumor that no one is coming this evening/satureday or call it my demised weekends is really calming my mind. atleast for some time now i want to be alone, with myself only. i want a change. n this is just how it has been on my mind lately. the conclusion is simple.

the life is getting too complicated to live in if you don't change. it disracts you from what is really happening. to help deal with your problems, your imperfections. people are different. there are too many expectations from too many places, and while i sat there and lied to you. you had no response. it was almost as though you believed me but i knew better than that. i still don't know how you believes it with my smiles. fading smiles. ..and then i feel dumb. just gotta keep fighting and running on my own alone. still wishing to get stronger and keep throwing my skinny fists into the heavens until one day my fangs reach the moon. - i know its exciting as it is difficult!! my mind is all entangling.

-
hmmm.. n well im all waiting to watch the ICC CWC final this evening. while the rest is voting for australia i think its gonna go to sri lanka this time. *roll eyes



16:24
haan shaam ho rahi hai.. :)

0 lend me some sugar.

 
written by jia.

  ..so lately i have been in this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .

tell me you luv me..

Terror Alert Level -

Terror Alert Level

dynasty -

One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told

mantra -
 

- Lately...

 When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...

But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....

That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

-by Azure Ray

 

ode to meaning..

_________________

One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.

calm before the storm

_________________

Numb by Linkin Park

And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.

moon phase
 

calculated distractions

broken promises ..

said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya....  "  

~*~  current mood ...

                 

coffee files...

'someone once said...

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