Tuesday, December 11, 2007

APART

As he laid his friend to rest , priests started praying. People started pouring dust on the grave. Slowly people leave , one by one. Talking , whispering – and wondering. As they all left, he will take steps slowly, hoping the journey beyond the gates of graveyard just never starts.

Looking at the faces of those around him he will think many things. Too many questions will illuminate his mind – with no answers insight. Why they conspired to end this poor soul’s life? Why they never tried to know what that little smile wanted? Why they couldn’t let go their own egos? Is it too much to ask from any human to put a smile anyone else? He kept walking with these thoughts in his head till he came across an old man. With curls in his hair , a stick in his hand , the white bearded poor man will just keep walking ignoring the crowd.
‘He mite have an answer’ – he wondered. Walking up to him , he will try to shrug off the idea of letting someone else enter his mind. But, loneliness in a crowd and the pain which it delivers , had the final say.
‘Sir!’, he asked , ‘ can you answer me some questions?’
‘Son , I don’t have any answers. I am finding ones for myself. What can an ignorant person like me enlighten you about?’
‘Tell me, what is love?’ – asked the young man.
‘ Son!’ , replied the old fellow , ‘ Love is when you know , that you don’t know anything. Love is when you wish for , what you will not wish for otherwise. Love is when you go extra mile without tiring at all. Love is when you take a deep dive into yourself while others around you only want to stop you. Love is when you give – and just give.’
Sighed the young man.
‘Tell me sir , I am hungry for love. My soul needs to be nurtured. My heart needs to be fixed. My brain needs to be repaired. Love has deluded me sir. Where shall I find it? Decades have passed now. It has become a holy grail now.’
The old man retorted.
‘ You look for love where? What do you think love is? You think love should heal you? – do you even know what love is?. Let me tell you son. We live in a world of madness. We live because we are asked to live , because we are not given a choice. Now you don’t find love out there , you find it in you. Once you find it in you , you look for a human to cross match. Humans come in all shapes and sizes. Its not an easy journey my friend. It will not be a smooth sailing. But when you find someone whom you think is worth your love. Dump all your love in their hearts. They will take it , but slowly. Love demands patience. Love demands perseverance. Love demands sacrifice. Love demands selflessness. This is what love is. This is what you should yearn for’.
‘You know who is there in that grave?” – pointed the young man to the grave.
‘I dumped my love there. In this cemetery of hopes, I have dug another grave. Another grave, that will remind me that I need love. And these people you watched walking slowly , they are the ones who conspired against it.’

Old man holds his hand and takes him to the grave. Takes shovel and starts digging the grave.

‘Why are you doing this? Let it stay inside’ – he yelled.
Without paying attention to the young man , he kept digging. Till he came across a body , which seemed familiar to him.
‘This is your twin brother?’ – asked the old man astonishingly.
‘No’ , replied the young man , ‘ This is my other half. A half, which wanted to live a secluded life. I buried him , because this is what was right for him.’
‘Do you see this grave?’ – the old man showed him the grave right along side young man’s grave.
‘ this is my other half. We all live like this’ , wondered the old man, ‘ Killing our selves. Rejecting ourselves ideas which can lead us to different plateaus. We all suffer at the hands of our fears. Letting them be our guides. We suffer and suffer till we just become cynical of life , love and relationships. I have suffered the same way but I must tell you. Keep your other half alive. You just never know when you get what you keep looking for throughout your life. You just never know in what shape or form you get it. Stick to what you believe in son , take this better half out and keep it with you. Predators only are predators because they are persistent and they are patient. Be one , before you become a prey.’

While the old man sits beside his gave , the young man takes his buried half out and starts walking away.

Old man looks back and says ,
‘Remember my stranger, never quit on any idea. No matter how difficult or impossible it is. Be like a stream of water, which when flows knows no boundaries. Which when is blocked , finds other routes. This is what love is. Finding and making your own way. Good luck & Good bye.’


Mir.

0 lend me some sugar.

 
written by jia.

  ..so lately i have been in this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .

tell me you luv me..

Terror Alert Level -

Terror Alert Level

dynasty -

One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told

mantra -
 

- Lately...

 When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...

But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....

That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

-by Azure Ray

 

ode to meaning..

_________________

One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.

calm before the storm

_________________

Numb by Linkin Park

And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.

moon phase
 

calculated distractions

broken promises ..

said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya....  "  

~*~  current mood ...

                 

coffee files...

'someone once said...

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