[sound lift me up ~ fiona joyce] [mood slow like honey, heavy with mood] randomoddity -
i don't feel like myself, but i am rather fond of who i am right now. today was okie. i also found out that i like controversy,.i think. and meaningful discussions in general. haha kuch nahe.
n i wonder when he's going to wake up.
umm? ...sorrie, what? you lost me there. leaving it just like that.
im making no sense. good night.
~*~*~*~*~*~ oh, by the way very very happy birthday to you xain. :) i wish you all the happiness and serendipity in life. stay well and stay the same Jotishi Baba for me. haha. keep laughing. :O) much luv, many happy returns of the day.
0 lend me some sugar.
"Myth is a cloud based upon a shadow based upon the movement of the breeze."
-Alexander McCall Smith, from the introduction to Dream Angus
0 lend me some sugar. GIFs of the day..
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ A Primer of the Daily Round Howard Nemerov
A peels an apple, while B kneels to God, C telephones to D, who has a hand On E's knee, F coughs, G turns up the sod For H's grave, I do not understand But J is bringing one clay pigeon down While K brings down a nightstick on L's head, And M takes mustard, N drives into town, O goes to bed with P, and Q drops dead, R lies to S, but happens to be heard By T, who tells U not to fire V For having to give W the word That X is now deceiving Y with Z, Who happens just now to remember A Peeling an apple somewhere far away.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nothing in That Drawer
Nothing in that drawer. Nothing in that drawer. Nothing in that drawer. Nothing in that drawer. Nothing in that drawer. Nothing in that drawer. Nothing in that drawer. Nothing in that drawer. Nothing in that drawer. Nothing in that drawer. Nothing in that drawer. Nothing in that drawer. Nothing in that drawer. Nothing in that drawer.
[i sway saiyyan -kailash kher] [i stray a cup of tea, murmurings of some soft music , and the sound of drizzling from outside the pane] Randomly Affected -
aaj buhat maza kiya.. it was one of the most memorable days of my life. nahe yunhi.. :)
baarish mei khuub bheegay, garam garam chai mei girtay woh baarish kay thand se bharpuur raindrops. aur phir poora ek ghanta rooftop per hee baarish kay phir se shroo honay ka intezaar..haha bhai se 500 ki bet bhi lagi kay half an hour mein phir se shroo ho jaigi woh.. damn, blimey, mei bet haar gyee, per paisay nahe diye uss ko phir bhi.. khuub laraiee huee. hahaha :)
din itnay achay aur itnay hee unconstructive guzer rahay hain.. magar bhai kehta hai jo cheez per jub jaisa react kerna hua karay waisa hee kiya karo,, kum ziada kuch na kiya karo. baarish hai, monsoon hai..saal baad ayegee phir, jitna maza kerna hai ker lou phir. waisay bhi shayd bas kul hee se life wapis se routine mei aa jaigi..so bas jo thora sa acha change aye woh tou theek se feel ker lay insaan apni rooh tuk. haina? ..afterall acha lugta hai khud ko kisi bhi sense mei zinda rakhna.
- tumse baat kernay kay baad hazaar sawal uth rahay hain aaj jee mein... kaash kabhi hum dono ek dosray se sub kuch share ker payein. mujhay rishtoo'n mei khamoshi nahe pasand. aur tum chahtay ho mei sub kuch tumharay bina hee samajh jaya karon.. mere liye mumkin nahe. mei assumptions se duur rehna chahti hon..life nay yehi seekhaya hai hamesha. mere liye ek rishtay ki stem ko mehsoos kernay se kahin ziada yeh cheez zaroori hoti hai kay 2 loug uss rishtay ko lay ker kaisay chal rahay hain.. mei beginning aur end per focus kernay walon mei se nahe, mei uss sub kay shroo aur phir khatum honay kay pehlay kahin durmiyaan mei jee rahi hoti hon.. woh raasta, woh waasta, woh nazara, woh 2 lougon kay durmiyaan hum'ahangi, 2 loug ek dosray kay saath ko kaisay sunbhaaltay hain..woh ehmiat rakhta hai sub. .. tum kub sumjho gay hun? :)
~*~*~*~*~
aur aur aur..mmmm yea, poora week net aur electricity nay dhokay diye, in result of it mei bas candles ki pictures hee laiti rahi..kabhi kabhi kuch dayr kay undhairay mei aur ho bhi kya sukta hai haan? :) haha.. whatever :P
oh, n in the end and in the end my ultimate luv for music: download here saiyyan by kailash kher such a wonderful wonderful wonderful composition..it's continues classical playing is plainly soothing my soul. reading my state of mind, engulfing me with some unknown thoughts for our relation.
Come to me in the silence of the night; Come in the speaking silence of a dream; Come with soft rounded cheeks and eyes as bright As sunlight on a stream; Come back in tears O memory, hope, love of finished years.
O dream how sweet, too sweet, too bitter sweet, Whose wakening should have been in Paradise, Where souls brimful of love abide and meet; Where thirsty longing eyes Watch the slow door That opening, letting in, lets out no more.
Yet come to me in dreams, that I may live My very life again though cold in death: Come back to me in dreams, that I may give Pulse for pulse, breath for breath: Speak low, lean low, as long ago, my love, how long ago!
Christina Rossetti
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Your breast is enough for my heart, and my wings for your freedom. What was sleeping above your soul will rise out of my mouth to heaven.
In you is the illusion of each day. You arrive like the dew to the cupped flowers. You undermine the horizon with your absence. Eternally in flight like the wave.
I have said that you sang in the wind like the pines and like the masts. Like them you are tall and taciturn, and you are sad, all at once, like a voyage.
You gather things to you like an old road. You are peopled with echoes and nostalgic voices. I awoke and at times birds fled and migrated that had been sleeping in your soul.
[listening to meri jaan (inside outside -josh] [curremt mood okie dokie-active]
and my heart skipped few more beats yesterday was a yay day. one of those days full of wonderful, memorable moments. and yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay for having the feeling that you're someone's a favouritest person in whom he can trust muchly and luv muchly and rely upon to be!there!for!him! :)
but the sadest part of the day was, when in a part of my phone call, there were lies in my truth. i just didn't like the idea of speaking someone for the very first time in your life n feeding her with a plate of dried lies . felt myself a bit uneasy, third class and completely drained "(N)" , because for a girl like me truth is everything. lie doesnt stand that long, n when it breaks n.... c'mon you know how you feels then. khair it was a part of it all, i didn't do that unintentionally nor i wasn't even intended to, but.. i was bound to keep my promise. i think it isn't such a big deal yea when you asked yourself to sacrifice for someone who means alot to you. its just i was quite concerned, i still am. anyhow .... hmm but yea i kinda wanna talk to you about it (i dunno if i would). so much for being practical hun. salt.
- a note to myself: and happiness really starts and ends with yourself. you can make it good for you, you know? yea i know jia..
umm..have to take a hike now. i'll smear more of MY EULOGY later.. cause in the end of the day..it's nothing much; but hey- it's everything to me!
tick tock. time to be in the kitchen, cook fast. take a bath, get properly dressed and wait for my bhai to come back home. rest will follow. see you yellowlane. :)
[mood restless for some unknown reasons] [music to myears edge of the ocean -ivy' grey's anatomy] P.s. its the song im completely hooked up to these days. must listen.
is there even words? .. i was thinking this morning about father's day. but not in the typical sense. well, i don't really give a damn about him or his day but still it always bothers me in days like these.. umm? nothing i guess. :) i don't want to write about him. i just want the day to end right now.
today i feel frustrated and detached from someone. i despise fathers day. feeling like going up to someone n saying "BOO FCUKING HOO! get over it!!" i don't sympathize with stupidity. n i don't want to think of him.
Peekaboo! Papa i never luved you. :)
- hmm..asides it, i wished the day to two of my favourite people. one is wajji bhai (father of my two little nieces). and the other is my delighted friend, who, luckily or unluckily (God knows) is still unmarried but is in deep luv with his unborns. ha :D - i luv the two of you. (:
sometimes, Papa's little girl burns like ashes, 17:21
16:34 - [i sway rooth na jana tumse kahon tou -1942 A love story] [i stray a part of you is passion ..that part of you is me]
i do think that the right company does wonders for you.
i think seriously THIS IS WHERE I FIT IN. i feel so loved and cared for i melt inside. and i feel so comfortable there is no where else in the world i'd be, absolutely. so i don't care what we do, and i don't care where we go, because anywhere with you is worth everything else.
and i became such an optimistic pig overnight. and i have suddenly a new mission it is to be happy happy and make just one someone else happy. so im looking to make someone happy and i believe i just made a few already. hehe =)
today im filled with very much luv, and im filled with gratitude n happiness n wonderful things and my heart sings beautiful romantic songs..
again, i love you. never forget that. Butterfly kisses and hugs.
0 lend me some sugar. Scenes From the Battle of Us by Cate Marvin
You are like a war novel, entirely lacking female characters, except for an occasional letter that makes one of the men cry.
I am like a table that eats its own legs off because it’s fallen in love with the floor.
My frantic hand can’t find where my leg went. You can play the tourniquet. A tree with white limbs will grow here someday.
Or maybe a pup tent that’s collapsed in on itself, it so loves the sleep of men sleeping beneath it.
The reason why women dislike war movies may have something to do with why men hate romantic comedies: they are both about war.
Perhaps I should live in a pig’s trough. There, I’d be wanted. There, I’d be tasted.
When the mail bag drops from the sky and lands heavy on the jungle floor, its letters are prepared to swim away with your tears.
One letter reads: I can barely feel furtive. The other: I am diminishing.
0 lend me some sugar.
why is it that the most simple things are always the most complicated?
~*~*~ big things are happening to so many people around me. it's such an exciting time to be alive. let's hope the good things keep coming ... ~*~*~ teddy can't sit. cannot breathe, dance or talk. but teddy can smile. smile so much that it get sickening. it burns. She luves it. his precious little paws. but even her holding him won't stop him feeling empty.
what is his worth in her life? where does she stands in his life? he will get lost alone the way. fade. she will all alone in a crowded room. but teddy's smile will always be there. even when he's not okie. alone. forever.
She can't help him. He can't help himself. ~*~*~ As i stared at your faint picture. after all, what does a man do that he must, for her, to be hers?
~*~*~ this is the first week of the rest of my life.
i lie there. far i have fallen beneath the surface of it all.
[me being Pink- goofy- implicit- appealing- baffled] [listening to your hand in mine -explosions in the sky]
0 lend me some sugar. You’re beautiful ~Simon Armitage
because you’re classically trained I’m ugly because I associate piano wire with strangulation
You’re beautiful
because you stop to read the cards in newsagents’ windows about lost cats and missing dogs. I’m ugly because of what I did to that jellyfish with a lolly-stick and a big stone.
You're beautiful because for you, politeness is instinctive, not a marketing campaign. I’m ugly because desperation is impossible to hide.
Ugly like he is, Beautiful like hers, Beautiful like Venus, Ugly like his, Beautiful like she is, Ugly like Mars.
You’re beautiful because you believe in coincidence and the power of thought. I’m ugly because I proved God to be a mathematical impossibility.
You’re beautiful because you prefer homemade soup to the packet stuff. I’m ugly because once, at a dinner party, I defended the aristocracy and wasn’t even drunk.
You’re beautiful because you can’t work the remote control. I’m ugly because of satellite television and twenty-four hour rolling news.
Ugly like he is, Beautiful like hers, Beautiful like Venus, Ugly like his, Beautiful like she is, Ugly like Mars.
0 lend me some sugar. GIF of the day..
Then God said to Noah and to his sons with him: "I now establish my covenant with you and with your descendants after you and with every living creature that was with you—the birds, the livestock and all the wild animals, all those that came out of the ark with you—every living creature on earth. I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth."
And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."
- Genesis 9:8-16
there was the most beautiful rainbow outside my window yesterday - i didn't take a photo so you'll have to take my word for it. and it was tangibly exciting! because of the reminder that rainbows are of God's mercy and faithfulness to his people. the same God who made that covenant with noah knows and loves us intimately, and actually allows us to call him our father. - Stolen by jia,
0 lend me some sugar.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Moving slowly into the setting sun Keeping secrets away from everyone Staring out into another world Tide is rising, but time is standing still
Ocean city girl Is smiling Ocean city girl Is flying
The night is falling; the streetlights start to glow No one’s there when the cracks begin to show They can’t hurt her like she’s been hurt before No one here can get near her anymore
Ocean City by Ivy -Veronica Mars Soundtrack
0 lend me some sugar. I am so thankful that we serve a God who can bring beauty from ashes because there are days when I only see ashes around me. I only see the burnt up remains of a ruined marriage. I only see the scarred broken hearts of my children lying on the living room floor and I don’t even know where my heart is any more. But God can make something from the ashes. He is. I know He is.
Because there are other days when it smells like spring even though it is the dead of winter and in my mind that is the breathe of heaven stiring up healing in our broken burnt up souls. freedom for captives good news for the poor comforting those who mourn beauty from ashes gladness for mourning praise instead of despair God is in the rebuilding, restoring and renewing business. Glory.
nahe yaar??? ..... hahahahaha :D iss dunya mei koi itna cute bhi ho sukta hai?? gosh i want to be his teeny weeny bride to be!!! i want to be a part of your family!! :D n yellowlane, you think im kidding? believe me im not! i just wish i could ever be...i just wish i could spend my life with a bunny like YOU! head to toe in luv with you. :O) :O)
uff...you are irresistible *french kiss! :D i swear i'll swallow your nosy! n ..and.... and.. uff you are soooo tempting !!! :/ seriously im luving you... loving you, wanting you, needing you right this very moment, adoring you more than you can ever imagine!! :D
MMMMUAH! I LOVE YOU!! *hugs* awww sweetie, my luv. :)
well yea im in a good mood today. maybe waking up early wasn't so bad of an idea. plus, alot of little things have been added to my repository of feel goods for today. :)
also.. see The Fountain. it's the best movie about buddhism i've ever seen. like, no, i haven't seen a lot of shitty movies about buddhism, but this was the best one.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ hmmm and down the lane a little note to myself...
"It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown. Why overwork?"
*and
"When someone annoys you it takes 43 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them in the face." :D
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
n umm yea..tell me ... how do you become ..... a grown-up?
0 lend me some sugar. “I hold a stalk in my hand. I am the stalk. My roots go down to the depths of the world, through earth, dry with brick, and damp earth, through veins of lead and silver. I am all fibre. All tremors shake me, and the weight of the earth is pressed to my ribs.”
[taken by bhai] june 4th '07
0 lend me some sugar. There's more beauty in the truth, even if it is dreadful beauty. The storytellers at the city gate twist life so that it looks sweet to the lazy and stupid and weak, and this only strengthens their infirmities and teaches nothing, cures nothing, nor does it let the heart soar.
i am enjoying your birthday cake.. aur yahan summer ki pehli baarish ho rahi hai buhat taiz... qamaal lug raha hai bwp aaj. lucky b'day for us. had your cake? :)
mmoah, God bless you. jeeti raho. may all your wishes come true. happy birthday. apna buhat khayal rakhna.
- adnan
0 lend me some sugar. :O) awww hahaha... meri b'day ka subse pyaara, subse memorable..subse caring ,luving aur subse expressive greeting card. =)
faiz.. :) itnay saray pyaar k liye, itnay khayal k liye buhat sara pyaar. buhat sara khayaal.. (O:
Thinking.. that my life is a series of locked doors.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ [listening to big girls don't cry -fergie] -
Big Girls Don't Cry The smell of your skin lingers on me now Your probably on your flight back to your home town I need some shelter of my own protection baby To be with myself and center, clarity Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, Myself and I We've got some straightenin' out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket But Ive got to get a move on with my life Its time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry
The path that I'm walking I must go alone I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
Like the little school mate in the school yard We'll play jacks and uno cards Ill be your best friend and you'll be mine Valentine Yes you can hold my hand if u want to Cause I want to hold yours too We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds But its time for me to go home Its getting late, dark outside I need to be with myself and center, clarity Peace, Serenity
But I've got to get a move on with my life Its time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry
0 lend me some sugar.
Friday, June 01, 2007
YOU.
How you must have suffered against getting accustomed to me, my savage, solitary soul, my name that sends them all running. So many times have we seen the morning star burn, kissing our eyes, and over our heads the grey light unwind in turning fans.
My words rained over you, stroking you. A long time I have loved the sunned mother-of-pearl of your body. I go so far as to think you own the universe. I will bring you happy flowers from the mountains, bluebells, dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses.
I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.
Maybe I’m amazed at the way you love me all the time
Maybe I’m afraid of the way I love you Maybe I’m amazed at the way you pulled me out of time And hung me on a line Maybe I’m amazed at the way I really need you Maybe I’m amazed at the way you’re with me all the time Maybe I’m afraid of the way I leave you
..so lately i have been in
this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an
understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and
melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im
too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining
about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn
blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .
One crow sorrow Two crows mirth Three crows a joining Four
crows a birth Five crows lucky Six crows cold Seven crows a
secret Never to be told
mantra -
- Lately...
When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...
But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.
Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....
That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.
-by Azure Ray
ode to meaning..
_________________
One Tree Hill - New
Zealand. Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.
calm before the storm
_________________
Numb by Linkin Park
And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.
aur aur aur..mmmm yea, poora week net aur electricity nay dhokay diye, in result of it mei bas candles ki pictures hee laiti rahi..kabhi kabhi kuch dayr kay undhairay mei aur ho bhi kya sukta hai haan? :) haha.. whatever :P 
im knowing peace... 
..so lately i have been in
this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an
understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and
melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im
too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining
about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn
blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .
