Sunday, August 24, 2008

[Roshan Jamaal-e-Yaar - Abida Parveen]
download - left click and follow the link.

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Roshan Jamaal-e-Yaar

Roshan jamaal-e-yaar se hai anjuman tamaam
Dehka hua hai aatish-e-gul se chaman tamaam

Hayrat ghuroor-e-husn se shokhi se iztaraab
Dil ne bhi tere sheekh liye hain chalan tamaam

Allah re jism-e-yaar ki khoobi k khud-ba-khud
Rangeeniyon mein doob gaya pairahan tamaam

Daikho to chashm-e-yaar ki jadoo nigahiyaan
Behosh ik nazar mein hoi anjuman tamaam

Sheeriniye nasim hai sozo-gudaz-e-Mir
Hasrat tere sukhan pe hai rukhse-e-sukhan tamaam


lyricist: Moulana Hasrat Mohani

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Carry Me -
Chris de burgh

There is an answer, some day we will know,
And you will ask her, why she had to go,
We live and die, we laugh and we cry,
And you must take away the pain,
Before you can begin to live again;

So let it start, my friend, let it start,
Let the tears come rolling from your heart,
And when you need a light in the lonely nights,
Carry me like a fire in your heart,
Carre me like a fire in your heart;

There is a river rolling to the sea,
You will be with her for all eternity,
But we that remain need you here again,
So hold her in your memory
And begin to make the shadows disappear;

Yes let it start, my friend, let it start,
Let the love come rolling from your heart,
And when you need a light in the lonely nights,
Carry me like a fire in your heart,
Carry me like a fire in your heart;

So let it start, my friend, let it start,
Let the love come rolling from your heart,
And when you need a light in the lonely nights,
Carry me like a fire in your heart,
Carry me like a fire in your heart..

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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

"You dream, right?"
"In my way."
"Do you like being alive?"
"Let's say I feel attached to it."
"Do you worry about dying?"
"Programmed to. There's a survival chip."
"Well, we're all programmed, don't you think? By our makers?"

Specimen Days - Michael Cunningham


____________
Long Distance Drunk

Three a.m. drunks, all over America, were staring at the walls, having finally given up. You didn't have to be a drunk to get hurt, to be zeroed out by a woman; but you could get hurt and become a drunk. You might think for a while, especially when you were young, that luck was with you, and sometimes it was. But there were all manner of averages and laws working that you knew nothing about, even as you imagined things were going well. Some night, some hot summer Thursday night, you became the drunk, you were out there alone in a cheap rented room, and no matter how many times you'd been out there before, it was no help, it was even worse because you had got to thinking you wouldn't have to face it again. All you could do was light another cigarette, pour another drink, check the peeling walls for lips and eyes. What men and women did to each other was beyond comprehension.


Hot Water Music - Charles Bukowski

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Miniature Bridges, Your Mouth -
Marty McConnell


what we do in the dark has no hands. no
crossover effect, no good-bye kiss after the alarm.
what we carry in, we carry out, end of story. this
doesn't even want to be love. except in minutes
when your face has the shape of my palm and I think
lungful. let want out with the cat. returns
and returns, something dutiful. persistent.
hold your breath, let it build, let go. this is practice.
I'm losing weight, a bad sign, I'm happy. serious,
you say. contained, I think. the cat comes back
with a dead bird to the doorstep, an offering. bloodless
this should be easy. a two-step to cowboys. you're beautiful
but that's not the point.

x

I know my way back perfectly well. like the back
of my hand, as it were. but look, the labyrinth walls
are high hedge and green. this also could be joy.

xx

I literally don't know your middle name. does that
matter? what systems we arrange for intimacy, small
disclosures like miniature bridges, your mouth. not
what I'd anticipated. softer. to begin with,
I should tell the truth more. I could miss you,
and that's a liability.

xxx

I am not often off-kilter. but you're so silent, even
naked, and almost absent. I hush too, why
are we here. go. want to throw things, you, the clock,
break windows until something bleeds and you finally
scream. I tell you too much; we are not
those people. or nothing--maybe I say
utilitarian fuck. how would that be. I want you
to want to fall in love with me and that's
unhealthy. wrong. leave your shoes by the door
and pretend it's about the movie. it's love
in the movies it's casablanca and toy story
and water no ice come here. pockets need
to be untucked, drawers thrown open,
nobody's safe. there, I've said it:
someone I was could have loved you.

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Wednesday, August 13, 2008

and sometimes when it rains i think of
all the places we should have seen
i think of all the times we got stuck in between
sucked into a world of violence and misery
but when i closed my eyes for an escape
i would almost always see your face
i don't worry now where you are
i don't hold my breath for dreams to come true
i said goodbye to those days when i lost you
but every now and then when the skies open up
and i get lost in my memory; lost in my past
i remember how beautiful the sky could be when i would look at you and you would look at me`



:)

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Sunday, August 03, 2008

"That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen."

Women -
Charles Bukowski

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No, you are not worthy of the love which I have devoted to you. I knew all along that the prize I had set my life on was not worth the winning; that I was a fool, with fond fancies, too, bartering away my all of truth and ardour against your little feeble remnant of love. I will bargain no more: I withdraw."

Vanity Fair - William Thackeray

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The clitoris is pure in purpose. It is the only organ in the body designed purely for pleasure. The clitoris is simply a bundle of nerves: 8,000 nerve fibers, to be precise. That's a higher concentration of nerve fibers than is found anywhere else in the body, including the fingertips, lips, and tongue, and it is twice...twice...twice the number in the penis. Who needs a handgun when you've got a semiautomatic.

Woman: An Intimate Geography
by Natalie Angier

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Picture of the day...
Hudson River Valley storm - HCW

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THE SAME OLD FIGURATIVE
Joel Toledo

Yes, the world is strange, riddled with difficult sciences
and random magic. But there are compensations, things we do

understand; the high cries and erratic spirals of sparrows,
the sky gray and now giving in to the regular rain.

Still we insist on meaning, that common consolation
that, now and then, makes for beauty. Or disaster.

Listen. The new figures are simply those of birds,
the whole notes of their flightless bodies now snagged

on the many scales of the city. And it's just some thunder,
the usual humming of wires. It is only in it's breaking

that the rain gives itself away. So come now and assemble
with the weather, notice the water gathering in your cupped

and extended hands--familiar and wet and meaningless.
You are merely being cleansed. Bare instead

the scarred heart; notice how it's wild human music
makes such sense. Come, the diving

can wait.
Let us examine the wreckage.

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written by jia.

  ..so lately i have been in this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .

tell me you luv me..

Terror Alert Level -

Terror Alert Level

dynasty -

One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told

mantra -
 

- Lately...

 When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...

But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....

That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

-by Azure Ray

 

ode to meaning..

_________________

One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.

calm before the storm

_________________

Numb by Linkin Park

And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.

moon phase
 

calculated distractions

broken promises ..

said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya....  "  

~*~  current mood ...

                 

coffee files...

'someone once said...

stains..