Sunday, September 30, 2007
















RANDOMMODITY!!
[from msn's Week In Pictures]

1: ISRAEL - An Ultra-orthodox Jewish man examines "etrogs," a lemon-like citrus fruit, during a market sale ahead of the upcoming week long Jewish holiday of Sukkot, in Jerusalem Monday, Sept. 24, 2007. According to the Bible, during the Sukkot holiday, known as the Feast of the Tabernacles, Jews are commanded to bind together a palm frond, or "lulav," with two other branches and an "etrog," to make up the "four species" used in holiday rituals.

2: Paramilitary policemen patrol as waves crash against dikes at Dongtou, an island off the coast of Zhejiang province, when Typhoon Wipha approached.

3: SENEGAL - Talibes, or Islamic students, pause to listen to their teacher between reading verses from the Koran at a Dara, or Islamic school, in Thies, 70 kilometers (50 miles) east of the capital Dakar, September 24, 2007. Talibes beg on the streets collecting alms for a marabout, or religious leader, in return for food, accommodation and Koranic learning as part of Senegal's Mouride sect of Islam.

4: A woman holds a Sphynx cat during a local cat show in Almaty.

5: A protester is taken away by police as her friend tries to pull her away during a rally against the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) summit in Sydney.

6: A plane flies past the full moon over Budapest.

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Confessions of an English Opium-Eater ♥♥

"I was stared at, hooted at, grinned at, chattered at, by monkeys, by paroquets, by cockatoos. I ran into pagodas, and was fixed, for centuries, at the summit, or in secret rooms: I was the idol; I was the priest; I was worshiped; I was sacrificed. I fled the wrath of Brama through all the forests of Asia: Vishnu hated me; Seva laid wait for me. I came suddenly upon Isis and Osiris: I had done a deed, they said, which the ibis and the crocodile trembled at. I was buried for a thousand years, in stone coffins, with mummies and sphinxes, in narrow chambers at the heart of eternal pyramids. I was kissed, with cancerous kisses, by crocodiles; and laid, confounded with all unuttemble, slimy things, amongst reeds and Nilotic mud."

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The Swan
Mary Oliver

Did you too see it, drifting, all night, on the black river?
Did you see it in the morning, rising into the silvery air--
An armful of white blossoms,
A perfect commotion of silk and linen as it leaned
into the bondage of its wings; a snowbank, a bank of lilies,
Biting the air with its black beak?
Did you hear it, fluting and whistling
A shrill dark music--like the rain pelting the trees--like a waterfall
Knifing down the black ledges?
And did you see it, finally, just under the clouds--
A white cross Streaming across the sky, its feet
Like black leaves, its wings Like the stretching light of the river?
And did you feel it, in your heart, how it pertained to everything?
And have you too finally figured out what beauty is for?
And have you changed your life?

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Saturday, September 29, 2007

BLAME IT ON ME -
As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility
And I realize that everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out to apologize for things that
I've done things that haven't occurred yet
and things that they don't want to take responsibility for

I'm sorry for the times that I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I'm sorry for the times that I had to go
I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know

That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I'm sorry for the times I would neglect
I'm sorry for the times I disrespect

I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done
I'm sorry I'm not always there for my sons
I'm sorry for the fact that I'm not aware
That you can't sleep at night when I am not there

Because I'm in the streets like everyday
I'm sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I'm so proud to call you my girl

I understand that there's some problems
And I'm not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show

If I can't apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me

You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

I'm sorry that I grew up way to fast
I wish I would of listened and not be so bad
I'm sorry that your life turned out this way
I'm sorry that the feds came and took me away

I understand that there's some problems
And I'm not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show

If I can't apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I’ll be the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me

You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

I'm sorry that it took so long to see
But they were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I'm sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani

I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt
And for the embarrassment that she felt
She's just a little young girl trying to have fun
But daddy should of never let her out that young

I'm sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
In a 21 and older club they say

Even though the blame's on you
Even though the blame's on you
Even though the blame's on you
I'll take that blame from you

And you can put that blame on me
And you can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me

And you can put that blame on me

And you can put that blame on me

~
Sorry, blame it on me - Akon
Complete lyrics here
[audio download]

_
Dedicated.

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[feel me ]
[hear sorry, blame it on me (whoa) - akon]

i keep reaching, sweeping my hands
through ghosts and broken dreams-
stuck in a nightmare i cannot wake from.

there are many things i mean to do. and by mean, i mean the things i think of that i might later want to have done, or the things i think i should do. the things i might want to do if i were, in fact, someone else. but i do none of them.

at the same time, it is a seductive thing, giving up responsibility. going down until there's no more down to go. possibly more seductive than this current suspension of will. mad or not, though, i am always prickly, always disbelieving, always inside with the lights off and the shades drawn. the state of not-being-overly-depressed doesn't change these fundamental things.

im feeling so alone right now. for the past few days, it seems like all i can do is cry.... everything seems to upset me. ....
i guess i just get this way sometimes. i'll laugh soon again. :)


BLAH! what happened to the simple things in life?




another slip . thanks . sanity . fcuk you .


i mean it. you need it,
yourself,
4:05a

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hmm..did that again ... :)



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Thursday, September 27, 2007

3 MORE DAYS!!





always,
jia

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Creation of the day..


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Wasted
by Marya Hornbacher

"Somewhere in the back of my brain there exists this certainty: The body is no more than a costume, and can be changed at will. That the changing of bodies, like costumes, would make me into a different character, a character who might, finally, be all right."

"It is, at the most basic level, a bundle of contradictions: a desire for power that strips you of all power. A gesture of strength that divests you of all strength."

"It is the thing you believe is keeping you safe, alive, contained--and in the end, of course you find it's doing quite the opposite"

"And so I went through the looking glass, stepped into the netherworld, where up is down and food is greed, where convex mirros cover the walls, where death is honor and flesh is weak. It is ever so easy to go. Harder to find your way back."

"I did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. I did not like to be touched because I craved it too much. I wanted to be held very tight so I would not break. Even now, when people lean down to touch me, or hug me, or put a hand on my shoulder, I hold my breath. I turn my face. I want to cry."

"I was perpetually grief-stricken when I finished a book, and would slide down from my sitting position on the bed, put my cheek on the pillow and sigh for a long time. It seemed there would never be another book. It was all over, the book was dead. It lay in its bent cover by my hand. What was the use? Why bother dragging the weight of my small body down to dinner? Why move? Why breathe? The book had left me, and there was no reason to go on."

"That paradox would begin to run my life: to know that what you are doing is hurting you, maybe killing you, and to be afraid of that fact--but to cling to the idea that this will save you, it will, in the end, make things okay."

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Somebody's me
Enrique Iglesias
[Download]

You, do you remember me?,
Like, I remember you?
Do you spend your life, going back in your mind to that time?,
Cause I, I walk the streets alone,
I hate being on my own, and everyone can see that,
I really fell, and I'm going through hell.
Thinking about you with somebody else.

Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you.
Somebody dreams about you every single night.
Somebody cant breathe, without you it's lonely.
Somebody hopes that one day you will see, that somebody's me.
That somebody's me. yeaa...

How, how did we go wrong?
It was so good, and now it's gone,
And I pray at night, that our path's soon will cross.
What we had, isn't lost.
Cause you are always right here in my thoughts..

Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you.

You will always be in my life, even if im not in your life.
Cause you're in my memory...

You, when you remember me?...
And before you set me free, oh listen please...


Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you.
Somebody dreams about you every single night.
Somebody cant breathe, without you it's lonely.
Somebody hopes that someday you will see, that somebody's me.
That somebody's me.
Somebody's me...
That somebody's me...
That somebody's me...
Oh yeah...

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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

umm.. is it october yet?




-
nope, 5 more days to go i think.

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Monday, September 24, 2007


Vanity kills.
tell me im handicapped.
make me realize it.
n keep me close to you ... <3


today im lil hurt of being myself.
sometimes its even more difficult to recognize yourself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[listening to outside -staind]
[mood whose? ... mine? nah, you don't want to know]


i dreamed of a bird who hung on. i said hang on and she hung. i miss that cradling kind of luv.

cupcakes and whimsy
nothing but silence
choking
choking
what?


wasting away,
jia

5:25a

Labels:

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Since you ask, most days I cannot remember.
I walk in my clothing, unmarked by that voyage.
Then the most unnameable lust returns.


excerpt from "wanting to die" by anne sexton

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Runaway

There are sparkles of rain on the bright
Hair over your forehead;
Your eyes are wet and your lips
Wet and cold, your cheek rigid with cold.
Why have you stayed
Away so long, why have you only
Come to me late at night
After walking for hours in wind and rain?
Take off your dress and stockings;
Sit in the deep chair before the fire.
I will warm your feet in my hands;
I will warm your breasts and thighs with kisses.
I wish I could build a fire
In you that would never go out.
I wish I could be sure that deep in you
Was a magnet to draw you always home.


~Kenneth Rexroth

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Sunday, September 23, 2007

[i sway how to save a life -the fray]
[i stray umm..that is such an accurate representation of my scheming face.]
Hit me up for directions.
Or I'll kill you.
tired like whoaahhhh!!! spent weekend with family n did a-l-o-t of shopping, had fun. n tomorrow im going to have an iftaar/dinner/gatherting/birthday party all in one at my place. it's already 4:10am here n i still havent written my thesis on certain chapters of economics, which was much requisite . maybe i'll start after having sehri.

i am relieved and sad all at the same time that it's almost all done. it sucks that a lot of people i leaned on, i will never really see again. but we all have to move on, thats just how it works.

but somehow, for some reasons.. i resist recovery. i don't know why ...... maybe, because i don't want to be weak again. i want to keep it vivified inside me. i mean, because, sometimes it happens to people i dont even like or think are attractive. it just happens. its like a fuckin disease that just kicks in when it feels like it.
duhh im gettin late ..time to chomp sehri.
booo.. i'll be back to you. taa!

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Friday, September 21, 2007

[i stray just looking at your face ]
[i sway do you know? (the ping pong song) -enrique iglesias]

things have been okie.. today feels even much better. a long nights sleep n moderate morning exercise, coupled with it being friday so in saturday i'll have the next episode of man-o-salwa` on hum tv. did i tell you im just in luv with this drama serial these days n the soundtrack is just awesome! i'll share the soundtrack link as soon as i'll find it here.

nothing in particular to report. last night a friend of mine said "agr tum aisay hee kerti rahi apni EGO mein tou tum ek din akaili reh jaon gee..'' past couple of weeks uss nay yeh bhi kaha kay "agr tum aisay hee phone pick nahe karo gee aur lougon kay msgs tuk reply na karo gee tou ek din ayega jub tum akaili reh jao gee" .............meinay tub bhi tumhari baat ignore ki thi magar ummh? .. tumnay mujh se kuch kaha kya? mujhay sunaiee nahe diya.

mei akaili reh jaon gee' se mutlab? mei akaili nahe hon abhi kya? aur mei buhat khush hon aisay, paagal.. :)

aur yeh kounsay stupid reasons hain mere akailay honay k liye hmm? haha ..
aur yeh kounsay JOTISHI BABA hain jo mera future predict kertay rehtay hain her time hun? ehh...... you didnt make sense. n thats the only reason kay meinay jawab mei tumhay kuch bhi nahe kaha. acha hua net he disconnect ho gaya tha phir. :)

in the end: i don't care about much which makes things simple.

i think now i have said enough.
fare well. take care n keep up the healthy eating!
xoxox

16:44

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Did you know of the day..

did you know? did you know that EATING is by far the most accepted method of stopping hunger from killing one of starvation?

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Creation of the day ...
yea i cooked a terrible 'Paratha' for my sehri last night.
hahaha but atleast i tried na.. (c=
umm? ..eh whatever ..... :O,

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Msgs (sms) of the day ...

''kash yeh sub preplanned hota..ya ho sukta, kay kis kay close hona hai aur kis kay nahe.. kis nay hurt kerna hai aur kis nay nahe. kis se baat kerni hai ya nahe. .
hum bus suffer kertay hain.. english wala bhi aur urdu wala bhi. haha :)"

~*~*~*~*~*~

tumhara naam likh likh ker mitana bhool jata hon
tumhay jub yaad kerta hon bhulana bhool jata hon
buhat si aisi baatein hain jo mere dil mei rehti hain
magar jub tumse milta hon, sunana bhool jata hon

tumharay baad ab her pal bari mushkil se kut'ta hai
mei akser tumko khuwabon mei batana bhool jata hon
mei her shaam kehta hon kay tumko bhool jaonga
magar jub subah hoti hai ..bhulana bhool jata hon

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Thursday, September 20, 2007

Ever (green)

I was there for you
I was there and I was there and I was there
and you never came
to be there for me

I don't know what to do, now
with this realization
You see, I've lost friends along the way,
like trees lose leaves in the changing seasons,
and I'm tired of it
like sap tires of streaming through a trunk in winter

I want to be an Evergreen,
with friends that stay through the years
A Douglas Fir with deep green needles
stabbing outwards and not in;
jabs of pain and loss,
that's what I get for being Deciduous

My colors change, my leaves disengage and drift away
They pile up in mounds lining my past;
a lost friend here, a lost friend there.
tossed away, ripped off my branches,
sometimes shook off
when they got to be too burdensome

And maybe my branches are too fragile,
my grip on them too tenuous
Maybe these leaves need room to grow and change
that I can't afford them

But I want to be an Evergreen,
ever there and they, ever there and pain
never there but
I'm Deciduous and you have changed colors, no --
You have always been this way;
I simply never saw it before,
never so clear as an October sky

And so, it seems it is not Autumn, now
for you to leave
And so, it is unknown
If you will stay, if I will keep you
Or if you will be one of those leaves that float down
from a laden branch one day in the wrong season

But if you were a Pine needle,
and I an Evergreen,
and you never jabbed me the wrong way...

And maybe I need Pine needles and not Maple leaves
or Oak, if you prefer;
maybe your leaf is not for my tree

It's just that it's hard, to lose another one;
to see the piles lining my past path
like heaps of colorful regret,
drifting along in the winds of change

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Wednesday, September 19, 2007


I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've paid some dues,
We've been to hell and back again
Through it all you're always my best friend
For all the words I didn't say and all the things I didn't do ..

Every time I look at you, I see something new ..
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you

You can take this world away
You're everything I am
Just read the lines upon my face
I'm all about lovin' you

The answers written in my eyes ...


-
Im all about luving you ~ bon jovi

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[i stray forget it]
[i sway ankhon mein ajab see -om shanti om]
download

Back up the sepia tone pathway
and up the road to your house.

yea, life would be so nice..


i am i think, well on the road to recovery. the worst definitely seems over and it's so extremely nice to not be in physical/mental pain every waking moment. being sick completely sucks .. like everything though, you gotta go through the bad stuff to know how nice the good parts are.


but i still need some damn prozac. or any other of those sleeping pills.

i keep meaning to write about what's been happening, but i never get to it. today i wasted my day doing nothing. i have alot to do this winter..n im begin to itch to complete certain tasks i have set myself.

i find myself luving and hating as if by some clockwork device. back and forth. winding me up and draining me. i don't know whats going around.

im going to take a shower, pill and bed.

good night internet,
luv ya yellowlane..


5:21a

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GIF of the day ...

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Quote of the day ..

there are millions of people out there but in the end, it all comes down to one. i still panic sometimes, forget to breathe. but i know, i know that there's something beautiful in all my imperfections - a beauty which he held up for me to see, a strength that can never be taken away. <3

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Movie quote of the day..

''Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid."


Casablanca

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Monday, September 17, 2007

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"What is the difference between love and obsession? Didn't both make you stay up all night, wandering the streets, a victim of your own imagination, your own heartbeat? Didn't you fall into both, headfirst into quicksand? Wasn't every man in love a fool and every woman a slave?

Love was like rain; it turned to ice, or it disappeared. Now you saw it, now you couldn't find it no matter how hard you might search. Love evaporated; obsession was realer; it hurt, like a pin in your bottom, a stone in your shoe. It didn't go away in the blink of an eye. A morning phone call filled with regret. A letter that said 'Dear you, good-bye from me.' Obsession tasted like something familiar. Something you'd known your whole life. It settle and lurked; it stayed with you."

~Alice Hoffman, The Ice Queen

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Untitled -

The stillness here, like what he sometimes finds inside her
Hits so hard, it can steal your breath forever.
He sometimes wonders if the sum of their lives together
Is him on the floor, and her lost to a mind in tatters.

These days he's drinking for the pleasure of falling,
And he's falling for pleasure of pretending
That she's sitting by the window waiting
For him to come calling.

If I could fix me up a week of twilight hours,
We'd sit on the porch and watch the sun continually flounder.
Bathed in gold, we'd plug into some kind of power,
And connect with the days before all of this went sour.

'Cause I'm drinking for the pleasure of falling,
And I'm falling for the pleasure of pretending
That you're sitting by the window waiting
For me to come calling.

Odd, how the darkness always makes us whisper.
And with the last of the sun, you can feel the approach of the winter.
Now is the time of day that I desperately miss her.
I suppose I will learn how to live my life without her.

So you're drinking for the pleasure of falling,
And you're falling for the pleasure of pretending,
That I'm sitting by the window waiting
For you to come calling.

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Picture of the day ...


Nacogdoches, Texas May 2007

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Saturday, September 15, 2007


Who could hang a name on you?

at worst i feel bad for a while, but then i just smile.

i go ahead and smile...

-
and you know about how the world is round and what goes around, comes around? stop nodding your head and saying, 'Bad Karma will you?



good night yellowlane,
see you tomorrow ..
6:19a




P.s. Thanks for tuning in. I appreciate your readership!

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Thursday, September 13, 2007

Thought of The Day...

Ramazan mubarik, yellowlane. :)

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[i sway all about loving you -bon jovi]
[i stray so one of us is living! :)]

to all the people who were.. are part of my life...

i wish you knew how much you were luved by me.


n then i just kep my head down.
i wanted to look in your eyes n say, don't make assumptions about the things you don't understand. but i didn't.

i'll definitely be going back to you again. because i luv remembering you in me.


im always catching my breath, so much so that i must breathe out else there'd be no room left at all in my lungs. the eroticism of tentative reaching..of words, of speed n gravity. small instants. oceans of years.



im feminine.
n so it goes.

but you just can't quite feel it.
you can't. you just never..


6:24a

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Boot Theory - (Yes, I'm obsessed. sShhh.)
Richard Siken

A man walks into a bar and says:
Take my wife - please.
So you do.

You take her out into the rain and you fall in love with her
and she leaves you and you're desolate.
You're on your back in an undershirt, a broken man
on an ugly bedspread, staring at the water stains
on the ceiling.

And you can hear the man in the apartment above you
taking off his shoes.
You hear the first boot hit the floor and you're looking up,
you're waiting
because you thought it would follow, you thought there would be
some logic, perhaps, something to pull it all together
but here we are in the weeds again,
here we are
in the bowels of the thing: your world doesn't make sense.

And then the second boot falls.
And then a third, a fourth, a fifth.



A man walks into a bar and says:
Take my wife - please.
But you take him instead.

You take him home, and you make him a cheese sandwich,
and you try to get his shoes off, but he kicks you
and he keeps kicking you.

You swallow a bottle of sleeping pills but they don't work.
Boots continue to fall to the floor
in the apartment above you.

You go to work the next day pretending nothing happened.
Your co-workers ask
if everything's okay and you tell them
you're just tired.

And you're trying to smile. And they're trying to smile.



A man walks into a bar, you this time, and says:
Make it a double.

A man walks into a bar, you this time, and says:
Walk a mile in my shoes.

A man walks into a convenience store, still you, saying:
I only wanted something simple, something generic...
But the clerk tells you to buy something or get out.

A man takes his sadness down to the river and throws it in the river
but then he's still left
with the river. A man takes his sadness and throws it away
but then he's still left with his hands.

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Wednesday, September 12, 2007




The Awakening.
by Kate Chopin.

"An indescribable oppression, which seemed to generate in some unfamiliar part of her consciousness, filled her whole being with a vague anguish. It was like a shadow, like a mist passing across her soul's summer day."

"The voice of the sea is seductive; never ceasing, whispering, clamoring, murmuring, inviting the soul to wander for a spell in abysses of solitude;
to lose itself in mazes of inward contemplation.

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Friday, September 07, 2007

[listening to janie janie -ahmed jahanzeb (OST: Khuda kay liye)]
[To Download]


i keep opening this box. closing it. starting to type. deleting it.

there is an absence i have been trying, unsuccessfully, to fill.

a void.




this is why i haven't written anything in here lately.
i don't understand it either.

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Sms of the day...

-
mera..

nae aur kuch tere siwa..
meri dosti
meri zindagi
meri khamoshi
meri bay'basi
mera ilm bhi
mera naam bhi
meri subah bhi
meri shaam bhi
kay jo mil sakein mere daam bhi
Woh sub hee kuch tujhe karay ata
mere chaara'gar tu yaqeen kar
mujhe mangna tou na aa saka
meinay phir bhi maangi yehi dua
kay gawahi day ga mera Khuda
meinay jub bhi uss se talab kiya!

nae manga kuch bhi
tere siwa ...

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Great Expectations
Charles Dickens

"You have always held your place in my heart," I answered.
And we were silent again until she spoke.
"I little thought," said Estella,
"that I should take leave of you in taking leave of this spot. I am very glad to do so."

"Glad to part again, Estella? To me, parting is a painful thing. To me, the remembrance of our last parting has been ever mournful and painful."
"But you said to me," returned Estella, very earnestly, "'God bless you, God forgive you!' And if you could that to me then, you will not hesitate to say that to me now - now, when suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broke, but - I hope - into a better shape. Be as considerate and good to me as you were, and tell me we are friends."

"We are friends," said I, rising and bending over her, as she rose from the bench.
"And will continue friends apart," said Estella.
I took her hand in mine, and we went out of the ruined place; and as the morning mists had risen long ago when I first left the forge, so, the evening mists were rising now, and in all the broad expanse of tranquil light they showed to me, I saw no shadow of another parting from her.

0 lend me some sugar.

 
written by jia.

  ..so lately i have been in this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .

tell me you luv me..

Terror Alert Level -

Terror Alert Level

dynasty -

One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told

mantra -
 

- Lately...

 When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...

But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....

That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

-by Azure Ray

 

ode to meaning..

_________________

One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.

calm before the storm

_________________

Numb by Linkin Park

And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.

moon phase
 

calculated distractions

broken promises ..

said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya....  "  

~*~  current mood ...

                 

coffee files...

'someone once said...

stains..