Tuesday, October 30, 2007

[listening to but it rainded -parikrama]

It's so hard to just always mean best.
aaj kul rooz sounay se pehlay hazaar thoughts demagh mein aa ker ekhat'ti ho rahi hain.. abhi bhi bed se uth ker yahan aa gyee.. pata nahe kya bay'sakooni hai ... poora din bhaagtay bhaagtay guzer jata hai, kabhi kisi cheez kay peechay tou kabhi kisi cheez kay peechay ..her waqt time dekhtay raho as if kay kahin late na ho jao.. subah ho tou raat kareeb aanay se pehlay hazaar sub karo aur jub raat aa jai tou ujala bhi pal bhar mein aa jata hai phir se. insaan kub souye kub jaagay? ... koi ek lumha aisa jub yeh saari dunya ki uljhan ek taraf ho jain? .. koi ek aisa pal ... saray din mein ..

hamster ka kiya demagh se jaa nahe raha.. hazaar sub ker liya hazar sub souch liya par ..... pata nahe zindagi mein kitnay loug aatay hain aur kitni hee bar insaan ko yeh ehsaas khaye jata hai kay koi aap ko dhoka day ker chala gaya. eitherway, waisay bhi kisi relation mein ek waqt mein ek hee insaan dosray ko tang ker sukta haina. yeh alug baat hai kay mei akser lougon ko mouqa diya kerti thi.

ek kay baad ek.. ek kay baad ek... kabhi dosti mein tou kabhi kuch aur nibhatay huay,, loug jhoot kyun bola kertay hain? .. mein tang honay lagi hon subse. sub apnay mutlab se miltay hain ek dosray se. shayad meinay bhi sub ko seh seh ker yehi sub apna liya hai ab tou.. itnay saray jhoot se yeh sari dunya rukk kyun nahe jati hai? lougon ki fitrat badalti kyun nahe hai kabhi? .. koi apnay aap ka hisaar kyun nahe torr pata hai kabhi? ...




just don't want to feel this way anymore.

i'd be happy to forget i even tried.
just tell me to go away.
I'll leave.

0 lend me some sugar.
Monday, October 29, 2007


Fried Fish
- by ammi the great!!
n the day before, i cooked aloo muttar.

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Stars are beautiful, but they may not take an active part in anything, they must just look on for ever. It is a punishment put on them for something they did so long ago that no star now knows what it was. So the older ones have become glassy-eyed and seldom speak (winking is the star language), but the little ones still wonder. They are not really friendly to Peter, who has a mischievious way of stealing up behind them and trying to blow them out; but they are so fond of fun that they were on his side tonight, and anxious to get the grown-ups out of the way. So as soon as the door of 27 closed on Mr and Mrs Darling there was a commotion in the firmament, and the smallest of all the stars in the Milky Way screamed out:
'Now, Peter!'


Peter Pan
J.M. Barrie

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"The Invitation"
- Oriah Mountain Dreamer


It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.



I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

0 lend me some sugar.
Saturday, October 27, 2007

Movie of the day...weekend.


laga chunari mein daagh


Review here:
http://www.indiafm.com/movies/review/13370/index.html
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/moviereview/2453948.cms

_
but i enjoyed watching it.
n if not for the same old story, yea, you can just watch the movie for rani mukherjee and the lady of the lake (my personal all time fav) konkona sen. the title track is just sooo awesome.

0 lend me some sugar.

Thought of the day..

luv, you're a whore!

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"But more than that, no unloving words were ever spoken, and everything was held up as another small piece of proof that it can be this way, it doesnt have to be that way; if there is no love in the world, we will make a new world, and we will give it heavy walls, and we will furnish it with soft red interiors, from the inside out, and give it a knocker that resonates like a dimaond falling to a jeweler's felt so that we should never hear it. Love me, because love doesn't exist, and i have tried everything that does. "

"Her life was a slow realization that the world was not for her, and that for whatever reason, she would never be happy and honest at the same time. She felt as if she were brimming, always producing and hoarding more love inside her. But there was no release. table, ivory elephant charm, rainbow, onion, hairdo, violence, melodrama, honey...None of it moved her. She adressed the world honestly, searching for something deserving of the volumes of love she knew she had within her, but to each she would have to say, I dont love you. "

Everything Is Illuminated
Jonathan Safran Foer

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Dear Rumi ..


you’ve forgotten the other life
in which he threw your books into the fountain


and the ink, unrecognizable at last
reached for you with dissipating lust


now you know the sun—Shams—in the sky
is not the one you orbit around

nor the one who went out the back door into night
and never returned


that day in the marketplace street you, estranged and weeping,
realized the true Shams was within—stopped looking—and said:

I am Shams-u-Tabriz...estranged in the street
and aren’t you also that street?


went up the mountain at the break of dawn and still met
people coming down from an earlier pilgrimage

aren’t you that mountain?

in the dawn at the tomb of not-Shams
you prayed and prayed to be not-found

who is the sun inside you?
who was it who left me then? are you that?


and the prayer condensed against the familiar sounds
his chair scraping against the floor

and the pure dread you felt as he walked out the back door—
knowing he would never return, that you would go mad,

spend years looking for him…that you would never find him...
so what do you say about it?


somewhere in the world now
at every moment

Shams is dropping behind the mountains
into the night—


at the fountain in the village square
the books are still weeping, asking to be rescued—


even the mountains are bending down
to try to help them—



dear I do not mourn:





you Are

Labels:

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Songs That Make Men Cry
by James Hurley, MSN Music Editor


In the words of the song, big boys don't cry. Nonsense. Of course they do. They just don't want anyone to know about it, particularly when it's at something as ridiculous as a song.

Having said that, when I polled a group of my friends about which tunes had made them blub, one sent me an impressive selection and then insisted none of them had actually moved him to tears.

"What's the point of sending them then?", I asked, to which he replied, "But I'm not normal. I'd probably have cried to all of these if I were. I can sort of get hot and choked and walk faster or something. It's a physiological reaction." So there you go.

Anyway, I have quoted directly from those men brave enough to have admitted crying in the gallery below - but I haven't named them. Let's just say no male pride was hurt in the making of this article.


__
24/10/07 08:00 PM Where streets have no name - U2. Cannot tell you why, its the amazing guitar line at the end that makes the hair on my neck stand up on end and blur my eyes.


24/10/07 08:03 PM Musical Blood Brother song "tell me it's not true" , how can you not cry..........


24/10/07 08:15 PM spinning by zero 7- I think music can evoke a range of powerful emotions within us, the woman singing on this track has such a beautiful voice it moves me to tears of utter joy.

24/10/07 08:17 PM "Atmosphere" - Joy Division. No coincidence that Anton Corbijn decided to end the recent Ian Curtis biopic Control with this tearjerker. Also, "Glósóli" by Sigur Rós; an incredible building, soaring track that had its impact heightened by an emotion-raising video.

24/10/07 08:21 PM The living years mike and the mecanics sit,listen,understand

24/10/07 08:23 PM Hurt by Johnny Cash.

It is such a powerful song, lyrically beautiful and you can hear the emotion in Cash's voice. The video is also fabulous. The only song that can make me cry .

24/10/07 08:23 PM Everybody Hurts - R.E.M.

24/10/07 08:24 PM 'Shannon,' by Henry Gross in 1976. I mean, c'mon...it's about a dog that loves his family so much that he effectively commits suicide by 'drifting out to sea' after the family (dad's died) falls on hard times and can't afford to take care of it. Whole song is about how the kids are going to tell their mom. I get teary writing about it.

24/10/07 08:27 PM Sorry but no song has every made me cry, but believe me some singing has, in fact it has made me want to die!!!!!

24/10/07 08:28 PM For me, it's got to be Cara Dillon's 'There Were Roses'. It's a poignant and chilling melody about the troubles in Northern Ireland and how it can tear a friendship apart.

Cara's soft voice coupled with the powerful lyrics is a real tear-jerker.

24/10/07 08:29 PM there's a few that bring me close to tears,

Origin of species by U2, happy ending by Mika, and the irish national anthem, being sung at Croke park... its just amazing to experience to view

Labels:

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Friday, October 26, 2007


Last day in pictures

















1, Lights out. load shedding in karachi is back again.

2, bhai tried making me the breakfast. the first time ever, he tried frying the egg. n the ugly browned bread. ugh. :/ (okie i admit, i still luv you crazily!! immensely immensely immensely)

4, in the back side of my workbook i was drawing the same old bee.. bhai jumped back in to help me colouring the flower.

5, fish ki ek aur newly born breed marr gyee. sorrie for the blur i tried focusing him but he was too sharp.

6, mocks are in line.

7, had a terrible, irritating flu last day. took pills n i woke up perfect today. :)

8, tried taking some pics n came to realize i have the most KADDU'ish face in the wolrd.


_
n on the sly my soul is still humming the same old songs.
n your silence is still making me go hmm n hmmm.. :)
n im still longing for that one kiss on my forehead.
n i still thinks .. being alone suits me.

0 lend me some sugar.


tere ishq mein - zila khan
OST: Man-o-Salwa

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The boundaries of this world are forever shifting- from day to night, joy to sorrow, love to hate and from life itself to death; and who can say at what moment we may suddenly cross over the border, from one state of existence to another, like heat applied to some flammable substance?
I have been given my own ever-changing margins, across which I move, continually and hungrily, like a migrating animal. Now civilized, now untamed; now responsive to decency and human concern, now viciously attuned to the darkest of desires.

~ Michael Cox, “The Meaning of Night”

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Tired Of Being Sorry
tired of being sorry - enrique iglesias [download]
lyrics are nice but the song is just average.
i recommend you don't download eh.

_
`I don't know why
You want to follow me tonight
When in the rest of the world
With you whom I've crossed and I've quarreled
Let's me down so
For a thousand reasons that I know
To share forever the unrest
With all the demons I possess
Beneath the silver moon

Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry

Eighth and Ocean Drive
With all the vampires and their brides
We're all bloodless and blind
And longing for a life
Beyond the silver moon

Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
I'm standing in the street
Crying out for you
No one sees me
But the silver moon

So far away - so outer space
I've trashed myself - I've lost my way
I've got to get to you got to get to you

Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
I'm standing in the street
Crying out for you
No one sees me
But the silver moon

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Download of the day..

tere sawaloon kay - OST: Manorama Six Feet Under
[right click n save the target]

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I never saw him again after that night, but before he was taken away, the road-person distributed his samples. Huge white spansules. I went into the men's room to eat mine. But only half at first, I thought. Good thinking, but a hard thing to accomplish under the circumstances. I ate the first half, but spilled the rest on the sleeve of my red Pendleton shirt ... And then, wondering what to do with it, I saw one of the musicians come in. "What's the trouble," he said.

"Well," I said. "All this white stuff on my sleeve is LSD."

He said nothing: Merely grabbed my arm and began sucking on it. A very gross tableau. I wondered what would happen if some Kingston Trio/young stockbroker type might wander in and catch us in the act. Fuck him, I thought. With a bit of luck, it'll ruin his life-- forever thinking that just behind some narrow door in all his favorite bars, men in red Pendleton shirts are getting incredible kicks from this he'll never know. Would he dare to suck a sleeve? Probably not. Play it safe. Pretend you never saw it ...


Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas - Hunter S. Thompson

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Saturday, October 20, 2007


im too busy being documented.
sorrie for my absence yellowlane.


-
and the ears and luv of people who care about me, thank you.
i will continue to be strong, as strong as i can be as a human can be anyway.

september is coming, the petals are already leaving their stems. though.



8:31a

[music yehi hota pyaar -OST: namastay london]
[i stray just woke up an hour ago, thinking about to be back in comforter again]

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Quote of the day..

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.

Demian, Herman Hesse

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nice.. im liking the new look of my hotmail.
hmmm... :)

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Mule
by Kaya Oakes


I am becoming you; inhabitable lorry
on shuddering wheels. I pull you through
Rajasthan, pull you through Dar Es Salaam.

You feed me
from your hand, raw grains, coagulated honey.

And say you love this. Your big body
in the carriage, my form bent

and pulling. And you say one day,
not so far off, when I have weakened,
you will pull me.

We will arrive. We will arrive in places that are
inhospitable. We will descend. We will
be beggars without bowls for alms, without
waxed takeout cups.

We will be jaded by then.
We will be the same sad flesh.

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Thursday, October 18, 2007



BB itch is in town!!

Labels:

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Wednesday, October 17, 2007
















my Eid clicks -
okie, i feel im just going this for the sake of blogging ...
a note to xain - dekh liya na cham-cham SUFAID hoti hai!! :\

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[i stray neend hai ankhon mein.. ]
[i sway tu hai bhatakta jugnu koi -OST: holiday]

Guru jee ki dakshana ... haha

as on this very moment, i find myself smiling at nothing because for some reason i find it better than frowning at everything. after all, it is better to be a fake somebody than a real nobody.
Humph! (:


why not? are you too scared to experience it again?

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

umm? ... nah, ssSSHhhh..chup .

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Saturday, October 13, 2007

Thought of the day..

i don't know if you remember my voice.

1 lend me some sugar.

This is how it is with insomnia.
Everything is so far away, a copy of a copy of a copy.
The insomnia distance of everything you can't touch anything and nothing can touch you.

Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk

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Quote of the day ...

I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you


- Friedrich Nietzsche

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You Could Be a Vampire.. If You Had To

Like most people, the thought of being a vampire has crossed your mind. But you're not sure if you'd do it, even if you could.
Living forever doesn't sound half bad, if you could live forever with the people you love the most.
But do vampires even love? And would the vampire version of you even be you?
It's all too much to contemplate. Luckily, the chances of you ever becoming a vampire are astronomically low.

What you would like best about being a vampire: Living forever

What you would like least about being a vampire: Blood stained teeth

Could you be a vampire?
take this quiz.



You Are a Werewolf

You're unpredictable, moody, and downright freaky.
You seem sweet and harmless, until you snap. Then you're a total monster.
Very few people can predict if you're going to be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde.
But for you, all your transformations seem perfectly natural.

Your greatest power: Your ability to tap into nature

Your greatest weakness: Lack of self control

You play well with: Vampires


What kind of monster are you?
take this quiz.

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Thursday, October 11, 2007

Untitled -

Tujhay Ishq Ho Khuda Karay
Tujhay Us Say Koi Juda Karay

Tere Hoont Hansna Bhool Jaain
Tere Aankh Pur-Num Raha Karay

To Us Ki Baatain Kiya Karay
To Us Ki Baatain Suna Karay

Usay Daikh Kar To Ruk Jae
Wo Nazar Jhuka Kar Mila Karay

Tujhay Dosti Bhi Na Raas Aaye
To Tanha Tanha Phira Karay

Tujhay Hijar Ki Wo Jhari Lagay
To Milan Ki Har Pal Dua Karay

Tere Khuwaab Bikhrain Toot Kar
To Kirchi Kirchi Chuna Karay

To Gali Gali Sada Karay
To Nagar Nagar Phira Karay

Tujhay Ishq Per Phir Yaqeen Ho
Usay Tasbiyoon Per Gina Karay

Phir Main Kahoon Ishq Dhoong Hai
To Nahee Nahee Kiya Karay ..... !!

2 lend me some sugar.


Happy Birthday Sarah.. :)
muah.. bear hugs for you.


aani luves you alot. bus buhat ziada questions na kiya karo aani se :$

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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Khota mera pyara khota
Mera raj dulara khota

Ghar main tik kay bethay na
Hai mera awara khota

khotian is pay merti hain
chita chita sara khota

Mehnat her dam kerta hai
Meri family ka sahara khota

Cricket bhi yea khailta hai
Hai yea brian lara khota

khata hai bus sookhi ghas
maskeen sa baychara khota

Interestd khoti rabta karay
Hai abhi kunwara khota

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Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Repression_

_
by jia,
Oct 8 '07
WHOAAH! im luving it!

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[mood creative]
[music tumse hee -jub we met]

You had me at Hello.

when you hugged me last night, it felt so very right.
too bad it was only a dream.
and that i dont know who you are.






~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Download ..

chunari mein daagh - ost: laga chunari mein daag
laboo'n ko - ost: bhool bhulaiyaan
masha-Allah - ost: saawariya


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Quote of the day ....

Modesty, violence, anger make me want to talk. Pain, too. You write like you kill. It comes from the belly and all of a sudden it's in your throat. It's a cry of despair.

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This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labors to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at church or school or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body.


Walt Whitman preface to Leaves of Grass (1855)

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Monday, October 08, 2007

i was in
luv
with the world
inside
your
belly-
button

[in the memory of the age, The childhood when i got my first attack of Poliomyelitis :)]

n then...i have become ...
i wish i didn't wish for so much.
i wish my wishes really came true.
...i wish my shade didn't get stuck in her womb.
i wish i didn't feel so ugly lately.

i wish you could come, live with me.
i wish i knew what i really wanted right now.

i wish i could play piano.
i wish i could dance.. in rain.
i wish i was something!
i wish, for some ppl .. i was a fortune teller machine, so people would pay me attention, and for two bits, i could make them smile, laugh, or maybe even change their lives ..

i wish people didn't make friendship such a complicated thing.
i wish it was january again..
i wish seeing you everyday wasn't what made me happy.
i wish you never lied.

i wish i could tell him how she luves him more than he luved her.
i wish that you hadn't told me that you cried when you couldn't talk to me
i wish i knew if what you were telling me were lies or the truth ....

i wish men weren't forced to be emotionless and "strong."
i wish i knew what he wants.


AND ...
i wish you'd break my heart to my face
and i wish you'd watch my cry
and see my heart break
and my words struggle to compare to how i feel.

i wish i could keep feeling good.
wish i didn't always want the things i can't have.
wish i could fly somewhere fcuking far away..
wish i had the energy to write about all the things i wish for. and i wish i wasn't ashamed of some of those things.

i wish for us.

____
all what you seemed to want was that i keep touching you with poetry. i just wanted some honest, delicious potato chips.

0 lend me some sugar.

Downloads of the day..

1,, aao gay jub tum ..
2,, tera na hona janay.. kyun hona hee hai ...
[right click to save the audio]

OST: Jub we met.


(:
♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥

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Have a Nice Day
Spike Milligan

'Help,
help, ' said a man. 'I'm drowning.'
'Hang on, ' said a man from the shore.
'Help, help, ' said the man. 'I'm not clowning.'
'Yes, I know, I heard
you before.
Be patient dear man who is drowning,
You, see I've got a
disease.
I'm waiting for a Doctor J. Browning.
So do be patient please.'
'How long, ' said the man who was drowning. 'Will it take for the Doc to
arrive? '
'Not very long, ' said the man with the disease. 'Till then try
staying alive.'
'Very well, ' said the man who was drowning. 'I'll try and
stay afloat.
By reciting the poems of Browning
And other things he
wrote.'
'Help, help, ' said the man with the disease, 'I suddenly feel quite
ill.'
'Keep calm.' said the man who was drowning, ' Breathe deeply and lie
quite still.'
'Oh dear, ' said the man with the awful disease. 'I think I'm
going to die.'
'Farewell, ' said the man who was drowning.
Said the man
with the disease, 'goodbye.'
So the man who was drowning, drownded
And
the man with the disease passed away.
But apart from that,
And a fire in
my flat,
It's been a very nice day.

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White Noise -
Don Delillo.

He helped Babette push her loaded cart. I heard him say to her, "Tibetans believe there is a transitional state between death and rebirth. Death is a waiting period, basically. Soon a fresh womb will recieve the soul. In the meantime the soul restores to itself some of the divinity lost at birth." He studied her profile as if to detect a reaction. "That's what I think of whenever I come in here. [The supermarket] recharges us spiritually, it prepares us, it's a gateway or pathway. Look how bright. It's full of psychic data."

My wife smiled at him.

"Everything is concealed in symbolism, hidden by veils of mystery and layers of cultural material. But it is psychic data, absolutely. The large doors slide open, they close unbidden. Energy waves, incident radiation. All the letters and numbers are here, all the colors of the spectrum, all the voices and sounds, all the code words and ceremonial phrases. It is just a question of deciphering, rearranging, peeling off the layers of unspeakability. Not that we would want to, not that any useful purpose would be served. This is not Tibet. Even Tibet is not Tibet anymore."

He studied her profile. She put some yogurt in her cart.

"Tibetans try to see death for what it is. It is the end of attachment to things. The simple truth is hard to fathom. But once we stop denying death, we can proceed calmly to die and then go on to experience uterian rebirth or Judeo-Christian afterlife or out-of-body experience or a trip on a UFO or whatecver we wish to call it. We don't have to cling to life artificially, or to death for that matter. We simply walk toward the sliding doors. Waves and radiation. Look how well-lighted everything is. The place is sealed off, self-contained. It is timeless. Another reason why I think of Tibet. Dying is a art in Tibet. A priest walks in, sits down, tells the weeping relatives to get out and has the room sealed. Doors, windows sealed. He has serious business to see to. Chants, numerology, horoscopes, recitations. Here we don't die, we shop. But the difference is less marked than you think."

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Sunday, October 07, 2007


1997 `Indus Valley Institute of Art - karachi

i want to locate a bit of you, cradle it,
say: this, there is no word for this.

_
nae ... waqai aap ki guria ko aaj aap se kuch nahe kehna. :)

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Saturday, October 06, 2007



One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.


_
stolen from yellowlane.

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[feel me numb]
[music sanwar gyee -saawariya]

Tujh se naraaz nahe zindagi hairaan hoon mei ....

my head ... spins n spins n spins ..... broke my fast, just couldnt take it anymore.

sometimes, i feel like only a cold still life.
live and let die, i suppose. part of me still waits for an apology that i know does not exist, for a heart that cannot luv, and a person that is not sorrie. i cannot make him feel guilt, i cannot make him feel pain, but i wish i could show him what his behaviour has done to those for which he supposedly cared.

Why didn't i trust my instincts?




i wish i knew what i was doing.
P.ss. i thought about you n i still havent forgiven you. not you are reading this. but its still nice to say it. it is all in my head.

0 lend me some sugar.

R.E.M - All The Right Friends

I know you say
Maybe some day
I need never be alone
I know I say
It's the right way
But you'll never be the one

I've been so alone now
For a long long, long time
I don't wanna hang out now
With the folks that just stopped by

While you party
You've been looking
But your searching never ends
You've been going
With the wrong crowd
You've got all the right friends

I've been walking alone now
For a long, long time
I don't want to spend now
With the folks...that just aren't mine

I don't wanna be with you anymore
I just don't want you anymore
I don't wanna be with you anymore
I just don't want you anymore

Rave on!
Fall to...fall to...fall to...fall too
Fall to...fall to...fall to...fall too

I don't wanna be with you anymore
I just don't want you anymore
I don't wanna be with you anymore
I just don't want you anymore

I know you say
Maybe some day
I need never be alone
I know I say it's the right way,
But you'll never be alone

I 've been walking alone now
For a long long time
I don't gotta hang out
With the folks that just aren't mine

I don't wanna be with you anymore
I just don't want you anymore
I don't wanna be with you anymore
I just don't want you anymore

0 lend me some sugar.
Friday, October 05, 2007

OUTSTRETCHED that is.
nothing, just trying to keep my mind sane from the rest.
sometimes sillines works. n thats what i have been doing these days. :)

don't mind me yellowlane.
im lost.

0 lend me some sugar.
Thursday, October 04, 2007


yea, this is a funny..
colorful world we live in.
n you have gussed it correctly,
this girl is me.. the brand-new me.
n im hearing my heart beat saying im still missing you ..
n im sane.

n oh btw, im listening to jub se tere naina - saawariya




like in English "this is not too bad".
hmm.










0 lend me some sugar.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Sms (msgs) of the week ...

anyways apologies for bugging ya, i was kinda disappointed coz of the result so dats why i texted ya!
tc & supurd-e-Khuda:)


- nameless
Sep 25th'07

____

Aray tumhari jagah per mei tou nahe qabza ker raha, haha, uff tumhara yeh ghussa, khanay mei namak kum daa'la karo plz:P


nameless
Sep 29th'07
___

I just received my first salary .. Its in my hand im so happy !
ALLHAMDULLILAH !!


N.C
Oct 3rd'07

_____

"Life is like having a cup of coffee. You sit by the window , lift the cup, take a careless sip and find no sugar, you somehowmanage with that sugarless cup.. On finishing you discover crystals settled at the bottom. Thats how life is.. we do not make any effort to value what is around or within us, so look around! maybe the sweetness you are looking for is closer than you think. :)


Idiot - gsm
Sep 26th'07

0 lend me some sugar.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Thought of the day ...

beauty and ugliness just exist and i dont get it and maybe i don't have to. there's no way to sum it all up except i luv you and i'll keep trying.

everything is what it is, and that's all.
n i think i need that crazy deep breath.

0 lend me some sugar.

_________
I’m still doing you favors

I still am.
You just don’t notice.

Your demons have been visiting for years
They say: “We want tea!”
They don’t really want tea.

Once, you said something about eating my heart.
Then again, you were thirteen. People say stuff like that, when they’re thirteen
They want to be vampires or something.
You’re not a vampire though.

But I have been giving your demons tea.
All the vampires and werewolves you send here, they drink all my tea.
I guess it’s okay, because I don’t like tea, but still.
It’s not very polite of you.
You ought to think about how your demons act as guests.

Plus, the tea doesn’t really make them happy, I mean, it’s just tea after all.
Boiling water and weird grasses and leaves in a bag with a string
and you’re still sending them here and telling them that they want tea.
I’m telling you. They don’t want tea.
And I know that’s a hard thing to deal with,
I know you can’t satiate them with your own…tea.

But honestly, why me?
What ever made you think that I was a demon wrangler, a lassoer of creepy things?
I am not so good with them, I mean
They don’t like me, I mean that
Tea is not enough and sometimes they bite
and it hurts
and I don’t want to catch what you have, I do not like the proximity to

all this sickness
in my house
on my chairs
all these blue winged fang bearing things
and you said I was unwelcome, you said
you said you’d mind.
if I came to your doorstep
and knocked.

If I could write you, I would write you in run-on sentences
I would let your demons take charge,
I would let you see what fearsome beasties they are.
And I would not care if you cried out
I would not let you speak,
I would not, I would…
let you laugh like you always do
I would start to say something stupid, something silly, “I lo….”
No, I won’t say that, you know.

I can’t write you
can’t sing you
can’t praise Jesus in your name
can’t hate you and
can’t love you and
even sometimes, I can’t see you
But I can do one thing and your demons will help
I can deny you my tea.
And I will say, innocently,
“Oh, I am sorry. The demons, they…they drank all the tea.”


- anonymous
[dedicated]

0 lend me some sugar.

 
written by jia.

  ..so lately i have been in this stay-up-till 7am, ungrammatical, nostalgic, talk to myself. paranoid, insomniac, wide eyed, and a little intense. okie maybe little is an understatement. wish i knew if i wanted stability more than the complete range of emotions and melodrama. if only life could be summarized in one simple word...good or bad. -im too young to be stuck somewhere in the middle, sitting on a fence and whining about it. no, i cant write an intro for myself, hence i ask you to read the damn blog. maybe.. you'll find out more through my posts. n in the meanwhile take a panadol handy.. .

tell me you luv me..

Terror Alert Level -

Terror Alert Level

dynasty -

One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows lucky
Six crows cold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told

mantra -
 

- Lately...

 When I was a child
a story was told
about the devil
and a girl so bold.
He offered her riches,
a fortune of gold,
and lovers abound.
But she lifted her soul,
she lifted her soul clean.
Like the story was told
on a dark country road
the same man appeared to me...

But I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

Now twenty years later
to the place I return where I scorned the angels
for a passion that burned.
There set in a tree
a knot twisted and turned,
the face of a creature Hell bound.
So long ago
could my mind've played jokes on me?
As darkness sets in,
unavoidable sin,
the truth I try not to believe....

That I reached, I reached
through the rain to the Devil's feet.

-by Azure Ray

 

ode to meaning..

_________________

One Tree Hill - New Zealand.
Dedicated to Xulfee Bhai, who chose to die in the Summer of 2003 Oct 7.

calm before the storm

_________________

Numb by Linkin Park

And i know
I may end up failing too
But i know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..
I've become so Numb...I can't feel you there.

moon phase
 

calculated distractions

broken promises ..

said he: tum jaisay doosron say bhaagti ho aur chupati ho .. wohi mere saath bhi kiya....  "  

~*~  current mood ...

                 

coffee files...

'someone once said...

stains..